Hubris and the Abyss(es)

It is the masculine hard-headed idea that if you throw your wits (or strength) against it, you can do it. Importantly, if you can't do it, you have failed because there was somebody who could have. Okay, now there are glaring issues with living like this but such is the case for any set of ideals one uses to exist.

The thing is, though, truly living this way ensures that you cannot look back on an it and regret that you did not do enough. This is an achingly attractive thing to do and, dangerously, the attitude justifies itself. When those near you raise an eyebrow at what this pursuit is doing to you, it shouts back that they could not understand this effort, devotion, care, etc. Even when you question yourself, you can assure yourself that you are the type of person who sees things through, who tries their best, and so on.

What is it?

It is some combination of beautiful, tremendous, and dangerous. Anybody can look at it and tell you that it's a terrible idea and that, of course, this is exactly the allure. At the end of your pursuit, you have not only achieved or gained this mythical thing, but maybe more importantly, you have also shown everyone that you were able to make it happen (against all odds). You have proven to them that all the sacrifice, struggle, tears, all of it, was worth it and that you saw something that they didn't.

The real cruelty of hubris is that it warps truly beautiful things into an endless, un-winnable battle; an abyss. First it is in front of you and then it is around you, everywhere.

My culture is not your costume.

A small tangent but something that is absolutely pressing is the phenomenon of lucky people claiming hubris. There is almost a guarantee that the claim somebody makes about how lucky they are is a lie; and I have no idea why this is so.. I mean it drives me crazy. Intensely lucky people point to some work they did or their own hubris and tremendously talented and hard-working people kneel in front of lady luck (or their version).

Now there is this group of people, able to exist because of the unique culture and nature of the internet. I am talking about people who saw near-overnight success in a pursuit that, net, provides very little value to the world. The main culprits of this are daytraders/crypto-bros but similar things apply to people across entertainment and tech.

These people, often kids, will preach that you can do it if you try!! This Sesame Street bullshit repackaged behind self-aggrandizing poor financial decisions is a farce! If they had true hubris they would go after things much more beautiful than a car, a watch, a number in an account. True hubris spawns from the pursuit of excellence, glory, beauty, knowledge.

A warning to the reader

Now, reader, if you are lucky enough to not be in the abyss, you will find yourself strolling through a forest of Promethean pursuits. The way I see it, one day one such tree will be so alluring and so grand that you have no choice but to walk right up to it, and vanish. If this is not the case, the tree that is meant for you, this is your purpose, will uproot itself and fall on top of you, and you will vanish.

You end up in the abyss either way. The point is to ensure that you find yourself in an abyss that suits you, that justifies the destruction.

These are tricky things and there is a chance that this essay was written to convince myself that there will be another abyss, one that is true.